How They Make Me Feel

  "People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel."

Maya Angelou

I don't plan manic but I sure do know when to take advantage of mania. I've been on a high all holiday weekend, and a recent IG story from my friend Hackim, citing this Maya Angelou quote reminded me of what an impact this poet/author has had on my life. I shared this story with my school during Black History Month last year:

 

Hi all, in celebration of Black History and Liberation month, I thought I would share how I discovered author and poet, Maya Angelou, during my junior year in high school.

 

I don't remember how, but I chose to read the book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou. Wow. I devoured the book. I was enrolled in AP English at the time, and I decided to write an essay about the book. Unbeknownst to me, my teacher submitted my essay to a UCSB literature contest, and I placed second, earning a scholarship to the school's writing program. Stay with me here, I know this is supposed to be about Maya Angelou and not me. I recall sitting in front of the panel of UCSB writing professors who judged the contest, and turned down their offer of a scholarship.

 

You see, I had the worst case of imposter syndrome when accepting my award and scholarship. Below is a picture of Mr. Tran, as a high school junior, at the awards ceremony at UCSB. If you notice, I am not even looking at the camera. I felt like an imposter and that I did not belong in that group of winning writers. Back then, I struggled in AP English, I struggled to write, and I really did not enjoy the writing process. I was certain that my essay on the book, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, was a fluke, brought on by the divine intervention that is Maya Angelou. I was certain that I could never repeat that level of writing, and I would be damned if I accepted a scholarship to write. I really did believe that Angelou's writing inspired me to a level of writing that I could not sustain, and that it was the book, and not me, that was responsible for the essay.

 

Since then, I have explored the poet, Maya Angelou, more than the author. She has been a part of my life, on and off, since my junior year in high school. When YouTube started to become a thing, I finally got to hear some of Angelou's poems, spoken in her own voice. Wow. I hope my sharing this story will inspire some of you to pick up a Maya Angelou book, or read one of her poems. In celebration of Black History and Liberation Month, I leave you with a video of Maya Angelou reading her poem, When I think About Myself, in 1988 (my junior year in high school!).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9ywTJvBwTc

And now that we are done with this tangent about me, of course, let's get back to the purpose of this post. I know the quote goes "But people will never forget how you made them feel", but once again, I would like to bring this back to me. This past week, I've been remembering how two people have made me feel: Chi and David. The three of us started as casual acquaintances who bonded around biking. At some point, we added running and then swimming to the mix, or vice versa, but the point is I found two other humans equally obsessed with compulsive exercise. I think Run Club is where our friendship really blossomed. I can't describe the myriad of topics, feelings, shared experiences, and laughter that we've had over the past five months; okay, I could but I'm not that motivated right now, I guess my mania only goes so far. Chi and David, I remember how you made me feel, especially this past week. The special edition runset followed by dinner, and the storytelling that ensued left me LOL. The open water swim today preceded by coffee and life coaching reminded me that our conversations have no bounds. And I think this is the essence of why I remember how the both of you make me feel. 

November 19 LOL.