For most of my adult life, I let my birthday stealthily come and go without much fanfare. I'm not sure exactly why, but I actually preferred my birthday to sneak on by. Hmmm, what would Brené do? Let's process. Well, throwing my own birthday party always felt kind of weird, probably because I was (and still am) worried that nobody would attend. I preferred somebody else to throw me a party, but the problem was that rarely did someone else throw me a party, (awkward) haha. Birthdays are just strange, or rather birthday celebrations feel strange.
In the last couple of years, with my newly formed growth mindset, I actually have thrown myself a couple of birthday celebrations, and they didn't feel (that) strange. However, most of these celebrations, with the exception of last year, were intimate in size and involved one or two person(s) that were kind of obligated to celebrate my birthday, like my best friend or someone I was dating. Last year, I went hog and asked (a lot) people to do birthday rides with me, and almost everyone I invited said yes. Positive reinforcement!
As my birthday neared this year, I was kind of feeling the let it sneak on by thing of the old days, and I didn't make any plans. My friend JT and I were talking on the phone (yep, we are old skool and actually talk rather than text incessantly) and toying with the idea of traveling somewhere. New York? Vancouver? And about thirty minutes later, JT gifted me a flight to Maui for my birthday. A couple of days later, my dad called and asked me what I wanted him to cook for my birthday dinner. He included all of my siblings on a follow-up text which now meant it was an official birthday party. A day after my family birthday dinner, Paris texted me and asked if I wanted to do a run club for my birthday, and I nicely declined because I wasn't sure if I had time before my trip to Maui. She insisted. And if you know Paris, when she insists, she insists. And just like that, I was now celebrating not my birthday but my first BIRTHWEEK ever. In hindsight, I am very glad Paris insisted because birthday run club was the epitome of all that I hold dear to me in this life: compulsive exercise, coffee, and a nicely curated group of friends to share the experience. I later learned that Chi was the one that was really doing the insisting, thanks Chi! And thanks Paris, David, John, Tony, Ellie, and Hack for attending! I really enjoyed BIRTHWEEK and if I get another one, great. If not, I think I will be okay living off the fond memories of this one. And if you are looking at the pictures of Run Club and thinking, WTF? The dress-up was Bright & Tight for my personality and body respectively. All credit goes to Paris.
Finally, if you are looking for a good book that explains the biology behind motivation, addiction, and desire, I recommend
The Molecule of More. I found this book to be better than
Dopamine Nation because it delved more into the biochemistry of dopamine and how we experience motivation, addiction, and desire. It is no surprise that I am ruled more by the Here & Now neurotransmitters like endorphins and vasopressin, and that I could actually be more dopaminergic. I found this book, as well as my return to Maui, to be quite timely because I've been experiencing some Taylor Swift slash Miley Cyrus like angst toward work and personal life of late. Reading this book along with the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling, and being on Maui definitely got my head back in the game of life. Bring it on, coach!
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run—
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
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